nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
