You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
