Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
