All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
