Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
