White coat. Heels.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize