im gay
i know
yea but for you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
