No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
