STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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