I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
