More tranny stories later!
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
