my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
