One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
