He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dick very happy bro
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
