please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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