HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
