I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
this hospital has no fireball
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
