Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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