i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
