dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
