awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
only you would photoshop your dick
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
