When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
