Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
