Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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