Are we in a gay sports bar?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
