32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
