I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
