Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize