I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
