You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
