bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
