I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize