no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
