Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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