So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
