i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
