I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
