i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
