his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He better not be in your backpack
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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