But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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