Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
