You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
