names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
