Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
