My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Blood and glitter go together right?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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