hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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