god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
