I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
