why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I stole a fireplace last night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
