me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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