I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
