Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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