woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
