idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My feet surprised me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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