Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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