is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
