Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
