Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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