for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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